The Texas Longhorns flag flies in the end zone prior to kickoff against West Virginia at Royal-Memorial Stadium, Saturday, Nov. 12, 2016. (Stephen Spillman / for American-Statesman)

Kirk Bohls

American-Statesman Staff

Column

Bohls: OK, class, take out your No. 2’s — it’s time to take your 2017-18 Texas 101 final

Posted May 25th, 2018

Advertisement
Story highlights
  • So who is the next Longhorn superstar, wide receiver Lil' Jordan Humphrey or forward Jericho Sims?
  • The unofficial Eddie Reese Coach of the Year at Texas should be Eddie Reese. Duh.
  • So you're saying Shaka Smart's seat is a bit warm.

Summer beckons, but before we can get to the sandy beaches and salty margaritas, we obviously have to finish our final exams first. And we will not be grading on the curve here.

So have at it with your No. 2 pencil.

Texas’ Mo Bamba looks up at coach Shaka Smart before going into the game against Iowa State at the Frank Erwin center Jan. 22, 2018. Bamba will likely be an NBA draft lottery pick next month. (Ricardo B. Brazziell/American-Statesman)

1. Name the Longhorns athlete who had the best individual season in 2017-18.

Advertisement

a. Michael Dickson, punter and bowl game MVP

b. Mo Bamba, center and certain NBA lottery pick

c. Kody Clemens, second baseman, slugger and Big 12 player of the year

d. Doug Ghim, Ben Hogan Award winner and Masters low amateur golfer

e. Sophia Schubert, the school’s first first-team All-American women’s golfer in 21 years

f. Townley Haas, national champion freestyle swimmer

g. Bianca Turati, tennis’ top-ranked singles player

Texas volleyball coach Jerritt Elliott speaks with freshman setter Ashley Shook (9) during an intrasquad scrimmage at Gregory Gym on Aug. 19, 2017. Texas again was one of the nation’s top programs this year. (Stephen Spillman/for American-Statesman)

2. Which coach (not named Eddie Reese, who is the LeBron James of Texas coaches and in his own category) did the best job?

a. Tom Herman, who got the Longhorns in their first bowl game in three seasons and their first bowl victory in five years

b. Jerritt Elliott, who took his volleyball team to a 12th straight regional final

c. Karen Aston, who took the women’s basketball team to the Sweet 16

d. David Pierce, the Big 12 baseball coach of the year who won the league championship on the last day of the season

Texas linebacker Anthony Wheeler (center) celebrates his scoop and score touchdown with defensive back Antwuan Davis (7) and linebacker Gary Johnson (33) in the first half of the Texas Bowl win over Missouri in Houston, Dec. 27, 2017. (Stephen Spillman/for American-Statesman)

3. Pick the best single UT sporting event of the year.

a. Texas’ win over Missouri in the Texas Bowl

b. Texas’ comeback win over TCU on the last day of the season to complete a baseball sweep

c. Texas’ basketball win over West Virginia to sew up an NCAA at-large bid

d. Eddie Reese’s absurdly ridiculous 14th swimming and diving national championship — his fourth in a row. Where’s the statue?

Texas softball coach Connie Clark was the second-longest tenured head coach at UT — until she resigned this past week after 22 years. (Rodolfo Gonzalez/American-Statesman)

4. Which coach had the worst year?

a. Tom Herman, who spoke boldly in August but went only 6-6 in his first season before winning a bowl game and securing the winning record

b. Basketball coach Shaka Smart, who’s trying to escape his “Coach Fitty” monicker after a pedestrian 50-50 record through three years and zero NCAA Tournament wins

c. Softball coach Connie Clark, who made it easy on athletic director Chris Del Conte and resigned on Wednesday

d. Track coach Mario Sategna, who was mysteriously fired in midseason (February)

Texas linebacker Breckyn Hager (60) celebrates a play against Missouri in the Texas Bowl game, at NRG Stadium in Houston Texas. (Ricardo B. Brazziell/American-Statesman)

5. Who was the most popular UT athlete of the year?

a. Linebacker Malik Jefferson, who was the social conscience of the football team

b. Guard Kerwin Roach, who was the glue for the basketball team and remains glued to it by smartly announcing his return to school

c. Guard Brooke McCarty, the Bun whose electric play and infectious enthusiasm (along with Ariel Atkins) paced the women’s hoops team

d. Linebacker Breckyn Hager, who is long of spirit and hair and looked really good wearing No. 60

e. First baseman Jake McKenzie, who’s made all A’s his entire career

Texas’ Andy McGuire (43) throws a pitch against Kansas on March 18, 2018. (Nick Wagner/American-Statesman)

6. Name the best Longhorns newcomer.

a. Freshman quarterback Sam Ehlinger, who’s a great leader but maybe too physical for his own good and too turnover-prone

b. Freshman center Mo Bamba, Mr. Wingspan whose offense we hope catches up with his defense in the NBA

c. Freshman backstroke champion Austin Katz

d. Redshirt junior closer Andy McGuire, who went from third baseman to stopper in his second tour of duty as a Longhorn

3. Kaitlyn Papp, the freshman golfer who teamed with Schubert to lead Texas to the NCAA championships

Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte greets fans during a basketball game against Michigan on Dec. 12, 2017. (Nick Wagner/American-Statesman)

7. Which was the most compelling story of the year?

a. Michael Dickson winning bowl MVP — as the punter

b. Doug Ghim ranking as the only amateur to make the Masters cut

c. Texas making a smart move and hiring Chris Del Conte as athletic director

d. Bev Kearney’s longest lawsuit in the history of lawsuits

UT head coach David Pierce celebrates with the Big 12 championship trophy after beating TCU at UFCU Disch-Falk Field on May 19, 2018. (Jay Janner/American-Statesman)

8. What was the most uplifting news of the year?

a. A winning record in football (finally)

b. A baseball Big 12 championship (finally)

c. Shaka Smart’s recruitment of a shooter (we pray)

d. Guard Andrew Jones’ courageous, inspiring battle against leukemia

Texas Karen Aston, head coach, left, and Baylor Kim Mulkey, head coach, right, meet at half court for a very quick hand shake before the tipoff on Feb. 19,2018, in Austin, Texas. (Rodolfo Gonzalez/for the American-Statesman)

9. What was the most distressing story of the year?

a. News that Scott Fisher’s weather report during football games is on the chopping block

b. First-round exit of the Longhorns men yet again during March Sadness

c. Baylor’s domination of Texas with three wins in women’s basketball (Get out the Kim Mulkey voodoo doll)

d. Recurring pattern of close football losses (USC, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas Tech)

e. Jerritt Elliott’s loss of heavily recruited freshman Lexi Sun, who transferred to Nebraska.

Carthage running back Keaontay Ingram signed with the Longhorns on national signing day. (Mike Craven)

10. The most exciting incoming Longhorn for 2018-19 will be:

a. Guard Courtney Ramey. Please let him be able to make a basket.

b. Tailback Keaontay Ingram. Surely he can outrun Ehlinger as the teams’ leading rusher.

c. Forward Charli Collier, Ms. Texas Basketball and a Naismith Trophy finalist with a 31-point average.

d. Left tackle Calvin Anderson, a Rice graduate transfer.

Texas head coach Shaka Smart looks to the floor while standing for the playing of The Eyes of Texas following his team’s 67-64 loss to Kansas State in a NCAA college basketball game in Austin, Texas, on Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2018. (Nick Wagner/American-Statesman)

11. Even though we like him a lot, the Texas coach on the hottest seat next season is:

a. Shaka Smart

b. Shaka Smart

c. Shaka Smart

d. Shaka Smart

Linebacker Ayodele Adeoye listens to defensive coordinator Todd Orlando during a football practice at the Denius Fields on March 22, 2018. (Nick Wagner/American-Statesman)

12. The Longhorns coach destined to become a head coach somewhere else is:

a. New basketball assistant Neill Berry

b. Derek Chang, Tom Herman’s director of personnel

c. Interim track coach Tonya Buford-Bailey, who filled in well

d. Defensive guru Todd Orlando (He’s still here, right?)

Texas forward Joyner Holmes (24) backs up a Texas Tech defender during a NCAA women’s college basketball game in Austin on Feb. 14, 2018. (Nick Wagner/American-Statesman)

13. The Longhorn who needs to live up to his clippings is:

a. Offensive coordinator Tim Beck (He is still the OC, right?)

b. Wide receiver Collin Johnson (Think USC, but for 12 games.)

c. Power forward Joyner Holmes (Don’t be Kobe.)

d. Cornerback Kris Boyd. (Be a baaaad man.)

Sedona Prince signs a copy of her letter of intent during a signing day event at Liberty Hill High School, Nov. 8, 2017. She’ll be the second tallest player in UT women’s basketball history. (Stephen Spillman/for American-Statesman)

14. The next Longhorns superstar will be:

a. Wide receiver Lil’ Jordan Humphrey

b. Forward Jericho Sims

c. Center Sedona Prince (or Collier)

d. Offensive line coach Herb Hand

The answers are all d. If you said d to every question, you get an A. Just like Jake McKenzie.

Comments