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Bohls: There are agendas all around in Texas' move from the Big 12 to the SEC

Bevo enters Royal-Memorial Stadium ahead of the 2019 season opener against Louisiana Tech. Both Texas and Oklahoma have accepted invitations to join the SEC.
  • Every single entity has an agenda, not all that hidden, in the expansion move to the SEC.
  • More than anything, Texas wants national relevance once again.
  • In the end, everyone involved wants money and more of it.

Everybody has an agenda.

This side of no free lunches and you get what you pay for and Alabama rules, there’s never been a more obvious truth than that.

And it’s very clear there are plenty of agendas to go around in this latest expansion upheaval that threatens the current world of college sports.

So best I can tell, as the SEC presidents and chancellors vote to accept Texas and Oklahoma into their club to begin play at some future date, here are the agendas that have been at work for all the major players in this SEC saga:

Everybody wants money. More of it. Put that agenda at the very top.

Texas wanted to be nationally relevant again in football. It hasn’t been in more than 10 years.

Texas A&M wanted nothing to do with Texas. Never mind its official approval. It’s all lip service and toeing the company line.

Oklahoma wanted whatever Texas told it to want. Now OU wins in this scenario as well, but the Longhorns triggered this whole move.

Adding Texas and Oklahoma will turn the SEC, which is already considered the best conference in college football, into a 16-team superconference, possibly causing a major wave of realignment across the country.

The SEC wants all the oxygen there is in college football. And there may not be enough left to go around, especially if The League goes bonkers and, say, invites a North Carolina and a Virginia or a North Carolina State and Virginia Tech to join its little party and grows to 18 schools or eventually 20.

The Big 12 wants survival. In any form.

More:Bohls: Texas' Bijan Robinson looks to have it all, especially the workload

ESPN wants every eyeball on its inventory. Sorry, CBS and Fox. That’s just how it is. 

Texas wants to run the SEC. That should be compelling theater.

College football fans want to know what the heck is going on. Nothing good, if you’re not an SEC fan.

The players want to be paid. Check.

Everybody wants money. Lots more money.

More:Bohls: Texas' decision to leave the Big 12 and join the SEC is a win-win-win-win move

Steve Sarkisian just wants to play a game and see what he’s got. Is this what he signed up for?

Texas quarterback Sam Ehlinger fights for yardage against the Oklahoma defense during a Red River Rivalry game at the Cotton Bowl. Texas and Oklahoma pretty much want the same things out of their move to the SEC, but the Longhorns are seeking the national prominence the Sooners already enjoy.

Jimbo Fisher wants to sustain the significant momentum he’s built in College Station as a maybe perennial College Football Playoff contender since A&M can no longer claim SEC exclusivity in the Lone Star State.

Bob Bowlsby wants either retirement or this entire nightmare to end.

Lawyers want more turmoil, not less. (Read: billable hours.) See above, where everybody wants money.

Everybody wants money. It’s always about money. Did I mention that?

More:Bohls: Oklahoma, Lincoln Riley look more than comfortable at AT&T, their second home

Kevin Eltife wants to be a kingmaker. You ask, who’s Kevin Eltife? Exactly.

Eltife is the chairman of the UT System Board of Regents, and he wants to be Frank Erwin Jr. If you don’t know who that is, you don’t really know Texas athletics, so brush up on your Longhorns history. Read “Bleeding Orange” if you want to immerse yourself in Longhorns football.

Eltife wants to borrow a page from the late UT President Bill Powers and former athletic director Steve Patterson, who hired the first Black football and men's basketball coaches in school history, although Charlie Strong and Shaka Smart didn't exactly work out all that well. Still, Eltife will go down in the history books.

Chris Beard wants the SEC because, truth be told, that league is less of a challenge right now than the shark-infested Big 12 with national champion Baylor and super tough Kansas.

Who knows what Chris Del Conte wants? Where has he been, by the way? He might want to be DeLoss Dodds, but there’s no chance. He doesn’t have it in him.

Alabama wants Nick Saban to coach until he’s 100. And he might.

Florida and Georgia want nothing to do with Alabama in its division. Pods, please, Greg Sankey. Unless, of course, the league office sticks the Crimson Tide in the same foursome as the Gators and Bulldogs and Auburn Tigers.

Speaking of which, maybe the SEC will throw the Aggies a bone and put them in a different pod from the Longhorns. That way, perhaps A&M and Texas might play each other, say, just once every three or four years and not every season.

If you haven’t heard it before, everybody wants money.

The Pac-12 — we assume that conference still exists — wants some attention. It must make a big splash or be left behind.

The Big Ten just wants to be left alone. Remember, it initially didn’t even want to play football in 2020.

The American Athletic Conference wants a bigger pond.

The Big 12 wants its old pond back.

The Big 12 wants ESPN to cease and desist and, in the next breath, asks for its next check.

The ACC wants Notre Dame.

The Big Ten wants Notre Dame.

The SEC wants Notre Dame.

ESPN covets Notre Dame.

Notre Dame isn’t saying what it wants, but might just want the status quo because it can.

Sports writers want compelling stories. Ain’t many stories more compelling than this summer’s slate.

(And, finally, some sports writers just want a real vacation.)